Venezuela cuisine, Venezuela

This tip has to be one of the best recipies that I have ever seen on the internet to date. It gave me so much information that I was able to produce a completely authentic Venzuelan dinner for my family and friends around Christmas time last year. Why I wanted to make a Venezuelan dinner for Christmas, I will never know and I am looking into it right this very second. I ate a huge buffalo but I omitted the cranium from my consumtion. Needless to say, I gained several hundred pounds over the course of an hour. This rapid weight gain gave my stomach and breasts very prominent strech marks. First, I shredded the meat as the recipie said above, and then I proceeded to use a hefty shovel to load up my mouth before I swallowed each bite. If I'm not mistaken, I believe that eating seven to eight hundred pounds of solid meat in one hour is a world record. Therefore, it is my personal belief that I should be awarded several thousand dollars for my effort and my new world record. I also may be the heaviest man in existance at the moment so I think I should get some comfensation for that as well. I cannot exit my dining room through the door anymore, I called a contracting company apporximately one week ago to come and make me a new door so that I might be able to exit the premisis but they have not arrived yet. As of now, I am completely naked because all of my clothes ripped off when I was eating, and I gained so much weight so quickly that they couldn't stretch to adequately accomidate my girth. My wife says that my large breasts are much more comfortable than my old muscular ones.
Today, I accidentally sat on a large fire ant hill and a few million of those little buggers crawled on my buttocks and stung the heck out of it. Quite honestly, I hadn't realized anything was amiss until my wife yelled at me. Then she went and got the Raid can and killed all of them. All of the ants are dead, luckily but my buttocks is quite sore as you can probable imagine after several billion bites from a nest of angry red fire ants. Whenever I sit down I get a sensation of pure burning around my anus region and I immediately fall out of the chair or roll off it. Then I call in the forklift to come and right me so that I might crawl away. This happens several times a day. I have talked to my wife about getting a liposcution procedure but she doesn't think that it is what God would want. So I'm not getting one.

Nuddy, 2006-09-19 17:17:37