Home » Guatemala » Don't touch my Holocaust: Chosen mails from Guatemala

HOW IS ERETZ ISRAEL BOUGHT?<br />During my first 2 days in Guatemala I rode some 160 kms in Alta Verapaz, and found also the time for walking a little in 2 beautiful national parks. It showed me Guatemala just as I dreamed of - steep hills, covered by very thick green vegetation. The roads were quite, and thus the whole area is really a paradise for cyclists - well, at least for those whose legs are strong enough for negotiating with these fucking mountains. My legs aren´t, and thus this paradise was for me a bit like ERETZ Israel - i.e., Nikneh Beyisurim.<br />

Don't touch my Holocaust: Chosen mails from Guatemala

Itamar Cohen
2006-02-26 14:01:10

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Quetzaltenango Full Image
¨Cyclisto¨ or ¨Gringo¨ while seeing me. Children. Giving me some of the strongest memories, those which no picture can show and no words can express.

Subject: Bond. Ofanan Bond

TURKEYSH HORSEMAN
Fortunately, the spies who investigated the holy land before our ancestors (and not the fucking Palestinians! - BTW) entered it by foot. Had they used bikes, theirs report would have been even less accurate than what is told in the bible.

My 1st bike-spy mission took place near Kfar Zekharia, where a very secret IDF camp, which holds nuclear-headed Jericho missiles, is said to be found. I decided to look 4 it. Cycling around, I found nothing, but - there was always an helicopter wandering above my head all the way, so I guess I was pretty close.

The 2nd mission took place when Luchi (also known as ALUF ROMANIA BE-BICHIKLETA) and I decided to check the eranut of the Syrian soldiers on the border, near Kuneytra. We didn´t get to see any Syrian soldier, but we indeed made a Parash Turkey jumpingingnationing (Hakpatza) for the whole - how the fuck U say Gizra in English? Later, we were lucky to have a Nun-nun honorly accompanying us all the way, till we got far enough from the border, so that he assured we won´t get again too close to the border. (Guy, U never believe my stories, so now I have a witness - mail Luchi n ask him. On a 2nd thought, he´s not much more reliable than me).

Today I did my 3rd bike-spy mission. I looked for the beginning of the trail to the panoramic point over an active vulcano - a trail I plan to hike next week. At the beginning, I was sure that I got to the right place - I saw a high mountain, having plenty of smoke on its summit. Unfortunately, it turned out that, as usual, it´s easier for me to climb mountains by bike, than to open the map and think a little: only when I got pretty close to the place, it turned out to be just a few locals burning garbage.

Well, that was enough bulshit stories for 1 day,

Ofanan U r Gadol.
Luchi

20$
20$. This is the price of renting a bike for a month here. Fast calculation shows, that it´s much cheaper for me to rent new bike each month, than to pay all the blay of my bike. So finally I am pretty close to achieving an old dream of mine: having a leased bike, with a mechanic, which takes care of all the many needed repairs. But the real dream is that, just like in car leasing, I will be given also free fuel - i.e., someone will pay the huge quantities of cearels and dry fruit, which I eat while riding.

NARROW - NARROWS
In the 1990s, Huricane Mitch destroyed all the houses of the little village El Palmar. Horrible disaster for the locals (the survivers built new village next by, BTW), but a great party for photographing fans, as the ruins, and especially the church, which was sliced into 2 parts, look just great.

When getting there, a few kms before the village itself, I started to hear very strong alarm. I thought to myself, that maybe this alarm was activated when the Huricane fucked off the village, and nobody recalled to turn it off. I was wrong. It was just plenty of ONOMATOPE’A - NARROW - NARROWS (Tzartzarim).

From the destroyed village, a great jungle single-track leads to another village. The other village wasn´t destroyed, thanks god, and thus I managed to eat there my favorite lunch: 2 bananas, 2 coconut (first open and drink the juice from inside, and then eat them), and 1 whole big Papaya.