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Terror Alert: Elevated. Just when I thought I might have some peace and quiet, some time to relax and reflect on my travels upon Andy's departure, my roadmap to peace was shredded by some reinforcements. My newest and final travel companions, Sam, who you may remember from such episodes as "When Humans Attack (animals)" and "Livin' la Corrida Loca", his brother Tim, and our friend Dave, arrived on a plane to Santiago the very night Andy left. We continued the worthless, gringo lifestyle over the next few days, taking side trips to the nearby port town of Valparaiso, and the beach resorts of Viña del Mar, Siestaville, and Liquorton. This just in: Beaches aren't fun in the middle of a cold, rainy winter. But good relaxing times were had with long-time friends, until I looked at my watch. My my God god! I only had five days to get to Lima by bus before I missed my flights. That distance turned out to be 3,528 km, or 2,116.8 miles for you metrically challenged folks. Either way, "Ouch!"
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The Exploitation and Contradiction of South America: Be Careful What You Ask For, You Just Might Get It

Tysonv
2005-11-05 07:57:24

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Terror Alert: Elevated. Just when I thought I might have some peace and quiet, some time to relax and reflect on my travels upon Andy's departure, my roadmap to peace was shredded by some reinforcements. My newest and final travel companions, Sam, who you may remember from such episodes as "When Humans Attack (animals)" and "Livin' la Corrida Loca", his brother Tim, and our friend Dave, arrived on a plane to Santiago the very night Andy left. We continued the worthless, gringo lifestyle over the next few days, taking side trips to the nearby port town of Valparaiso, and the beach resorts of Viña del Mar, Siestaville, and Liquorton. This just in: Beaches aren't fun in the middle of a cold, rainy winter. But good relaxing times were had with long-time friends, until I looked at my watch. My my God god! I only had five days to get to Lima by bus before I missed my flights. That distance turned out to be 3,528 km, or 2,116.8 miles for you metrically challenged folks. Either way, "Ouch!"

But the real ouch came on about the third straight day of bussing north up the windy Pan-American Highway, which snakes its way the entire distance up the west coast of South America. Over the course of ten weeks of overland, bumpy, cramped bus travel, I had developed a rare condition I call Knees Ruined, Angry, and Broken Syndrome or KRABS. Even with ample legroom on my most recent rides, I did have time for the pain. While keeping my legs in one position for consecutive bus rides of 28, 12, 13, and 10 hours, respectively, I developed an extremely uncomfortable case of the KRABS and I was constantly squirming this way and that.

The pain in my knees from KRABS led to complications as well. Unable to sleep due to the discomfort, I progressed rapidly to the next stage: Hallucinations After no Rapid Eye Movement, or HAREM. Three days and nights without a wink left me fairly schizophrenic. On one particular bus ride I remember continually trying ...

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