Home » United Arab Emirates India » Lard Air

India: lard air, dubai, babu the bamboozler, caffiend

Lard Air

Rhymer1
2005-03-26 19:10:04

Displayed times (last time: )

I was sitting in my seat on my Emirates flight admiring the decor - a sort of Arabian nights meets Barrat homes "vibe" - and loudly congratulating myself on picking the only seat on the entire flight with a vacancy next to it. Alas, my smugness was short-lived: a man whose fatness would cause comment even in this day and age (and possibly even in America) toddled down the aisle and eased himself weightily into the seat next to me.

This put me in a difficult position (both figuratively and literally). He was, you see, involuntarily invading my personal space. And while I didn't doubt he was a top chap in his own way and fully entitled to scarf as many cakes as he wanted, I had paid my Ł500 for a whole airline seat, not 80% of one. Every 30 seconds or so another polyp of plump, warm man blubber insinuated itself into my chair - and, other than trying to make it obvious that you are uncomfortable, there really is now polite way of asking someone to get their stray rolls out of your space.

As I say, a tough one (which wholly compromised my enjoyment of Charlies Angels II and Terminator 3) but given current obesity trends, a problem which is likely to grow (haha). Upon my return I shall be taking this matter up with the CAA and suggesting that passengers are forced to declare their girth before they buy a ticket. Anything more than hefty and it's two seats or businesses only. Actually as I would subsequently discover some US airlines already do this. Good for them. Only when we stigmatise and penalise gross obesity again will these lard buckets realise that being fat is a not "a legitimate form of self expression." (actually quote from a woman who weighed 600lbs on a US fattie docu).

Dubai It

Fortunately my supersized chum left after our lay over in Dubai. As I have only seen the inside of Dubai aiport, I cannot really say much about the country, except that the whole place ...