Home » Guatemala » Xela - Songs of Praise and Showers of Death

After my whistle stop tour of a few countries in Central America I decided that I was time to settle down and relax in the central highlands of Guatemala in the second largest city of the country. The city is named Quetzaltenango, (literally, “the place of the Quetzal”. The Quetzal is the national symbol of Guatemala. It’s a beautiful bird with an amazingly long tail. Renowned throughout Central America, it appears on the flag of Guatemala and even gives name to their currency. However, in one of life’s more bitter ironies the Quetzal is fast disappearing due to deforestation and consequently the destruction of its habitat. Hence there are no Quetzals in “the place of the Quetzal” but I will diligently report back if I happen upon any) however, perhaps in recognition of the sad plight of the Quetzal most people refer to the city by its Mayan name of Xelaju or just plain Xela (pronounced shayla). In the past few years Xela has become renowned for its Spanish schools and as I am always heavily tempted by every nerdy pursuit I enrolled in a school for 2.5 month.

Xela - Songs of Praise and Showers of Death

Patrick Gatland
2006-08-21 14:52:37

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neighbourhood conflicts I politely declined, but after the last week of Christian ballads I’m either gunna buy the next Jars of Clay album or pick up the phone and call the cops ASAP.

Guatemala is awash with fascinating traditions and beautiful sites and I can’t possibly manage to describe all that I have seen here in this entry. The PLQ arranges numerous excursions each week and I have been fortunate enough to witness everything from Mayan rituals and psychedelically decorated churches to natural hot springs and the world’s most dangerous slippery slide. Some of the photos I have included will give a small indication of the remarkable things I have experienced during my time at the PLQ.

Rather than focus on the good, it’s more my blogging style to focus on the weirder aspects of life in Central America. And to do this I need to acquaint you all with perhaps the most dangerous aspect of my time here in Guatemala and most other countries around this area. That is none other than the act of showering. Not usually associated with danger - the risk that comes with showering here is that most bathrooms are fitted with my favourite piece of bathroom furniture - the Shower of Death!

As most houses don’t have integrated hot water systems these showers create hot water immediately prior to the water leaving the showerhead. It does this by heating the water by creating an electrical current with two bare wires so that once you turn the shower on the water is heated. After my electrocution in Honduras and the years of learning that electricity and water do not mix it is more than disconcerting (read, absolutely terrifying) to walk into a shower and see two old, twisted electrical wires leading from some unknown power source directly to the showerhead. On first impressions it looks like a new version of the electric chair and once in and you turn the shower on you aren’t greatly reassured when the bathroom lights flicker as the shower draws away current from them.

My fear of these showers has led me to adopt a “don’t touch” approach to them. This means that every time I shower I duck as low as I possibly can so that there is zero chance that I will make contact with the shower. Crouched over while soaping myself I often think it will be hard to explain to everyone back home how I possibly managed to die in the shower via electrocution - “what was the damned fool doing in there anyway, using the hairdryer” I can just hear everyone asking when the news is delivered tat I was found crouched over and burnt to a cinder in a Central American shower cubicle.

I was telling someone this same story yesterday and she pointed out that if I was really that scared of death I should, while showering, adopt the pose that I would like to be in when I am found dead in the shower. So, for the rest of my time here I’ll be showering in some cramped approximation of a Napoleonic style, wistful and as graceful as you all know I can be…